Friday, February 5, 2010

Job Opening for Black Shoes

Seeking my perfect pair of black shoes for wedding season. Must be able to make any outfit work, give me the right amount of height, without being taller than the groom, be comfortable, and of course CUTE. Toe squeezers, along with blister creators, and clunkers may not apply.

Must be willing to work long hours, not be slippery and allow me to shine. Please realize that wedding session can be very busy and you will be called upon at all times. We may be climbing a ladder, running some water over to the bride and groom, walking through rain soaked fields, hot beach sand and at the end of the night even maybe doing a little dance. You must keep your form and professionalism while remaining yourself. I do not have time to replace you, or wonder why you are squeaking. We offer early retirement and when you are a great employee we long for you. If you cause us pain and misery, we may consider tossing you into the fireplace. Only serious inquiries please.

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